Wow, it’s been over 2 years since I posted! Sorry about that and I hope I still have some faithful followers…
I’m just over 2 years into my motherhood journey and I feel my spiritual life is now being awakened again, so hopefully there will be more posts to come! I’ll start with this one which I wrote when asked to speak at my church on Mother’s Day this year, about what it means for me to be a mum.
At this stage I can honestly say at the top of the list is a Joy and a Wonder! But I am only at the start of the lifelong journey. I have absolutely loved seeing each new stage of development and blossoming personality – and we have been so lucky that Jojo is such a happy, laid back, adorable, cheeky little chap!
Of course, as some of you may know, the first couple of months were a real struggle for us both mentally as well as physically, and my first Mother’s Day was actually spent in the mother and baby unit – although we were allowed out to attend a church service in town on the day! We were very lucky to have such great supports at that time to get us through as we didn’t have any family around.
Since then I have really been able to enjoy Jojo fully, and there are so many words that come to mind when thinking of my motherhood journey. Joy and wonder as I’ve already mentioned, but also privilege, blessing, honour, huge responsibility and a major shift in life’s priorities – especially since I was nearly 40 when I had him!
It brings on a love like you’ve never experienced before and with that comes a complete opening up to vulnerability and the potential for heartache greater than you’ve ever known – as some of you sadly will have already experienced, and indeed as Jesus’ mother Mary did. I hope I will never have to go through such grief.
I’m sure the journey will be a long winding roller coaster with many ups and downs and twists and turns. It has already caused much conflict in the marital relationship unfortunately, as we have very different cultures, upbringings and parenting styles/values, which may be even harder to navigate as time goes on. This brings a lot of anxiety and worry for me and brings out a real protective streak in me.
I also have the experience of being a step mum to a much older child which has been an entirely different experience and unfortunately again, a cause of much conflict and struggle. Whilst there has sadly not been any sense of joy for me here, there have been strong feelings of responsibility, protectiveness and a longing to give him the best opportunities and future in life as I possibly can.
For now, I am just trying to focus on savouring and enjoying Jojo’s younger years as much as possible as I know they will be over in the blink of an eye!